Letter to Ms. R apparently miss Right

One of my "friends" told me today that she feels lonely. I wanted to tell her I feel lonely too so why don't we fix that together but I didn't. This friend of mine happens to be a girl I've been interested in but my problem is I've been interested in a lot of girls. So many girls that I'm not sure what I want at times. I ask myself who is the girl who truly holds my heart right now...and one person pops into my head....Ms. R. YOu may be saying "If I feel so strongly about Ms. R, why don't I tell her?" but what if i'm afraid of being hurt. What if I'm so use to being rejected that the first thought that comes into my head when I'm interested in a girl is "Why even bother, you know you don't stand a chance." That's the life i've lived. I've tried to be more than I currently am, make changes to myself to make me more appealing but it just makes me feel uncomfortable to not be who I am. I just want to tell her "Honestly I have spent almost six months chasing you. It's been hard but something in me just keeps pushing even though on some level I feel more and more hurt and think even lower and lower of myself. You are the-the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. And I know that you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is-is-is the furthest thing from an option you would ever consider. But I had to say it. I just, I can't take this anymore. You are the perfect girl to me even with all whatever flaws no matter how numerous thay may be, but you know what, I have my flaws too. I can tell myself over and over that I'm done with you but the end of the day it's you that I can't get my mind off of. You are like one of those few girls that offer practically everything I look for but not the major things.....your trust and your heart. I try so hard to break down that wall you have but I feel like I just can't. I would use everything god-made possible to do it but I don't know what it is that I need."