A Purpose....

I've been told that I put too much personal info into this blog. Well that was the reason I created this blog. To be my outlet because like I said I don't like opening up to people and I need to get out my thought and feelings somehow. I could just write in a journal but I find myself allowing people to read them anyway. I've "forgotten" my journal's in different places numerous times for people to read them. I do it because I want people to understand who I am and where I come from and what I'm facing. So what if it's too much, it's my life. It's not like I'm giving out my social security number. So.....on to my life. Basically.....I'm gonna use a new system when referring to girls so as to avoid confusion. We start with Ms. R, ah yes Ms. R. I've been attempting to court ms. R for about 3 or 4 months now. Only managed to take her out once and since then have been unsuccessful in my endeavors. I've been told by numerous people to not ask her out anymore. One person said wait for her to come to me while another says just completely move on and just talk to her as a friend. I'm sorta doing both but come on I really don't like to give up. Also this does not seem like the kind of girl who would get the clue and ask me to go out anywhere. So ms. A, my good ol' buddy ms. A. ms. A and I have had a very interesting relationship. We first started out not liking each other and then ended up becoming very good friends. Sometimes I even view her as one of my best friends. The thing is I sometimes find myself becoming attracted to her on numerous occasions. At times sexually attracted but also at times romantically attracted to her. So here's the problem, first she has like OD (I'm talking OD) history with one of my best friends, and she is completely oblivious to me as anything more than a friend (ehhh, that's my life for you). Anywayzzzz, ms. A is continuously having relationship problems and I am the constant shoulder to cry on. I keep my mouth shut and comfort her when what I really wanna be saying is "we're both looking for the same thing why can't we find it in each other. These guys don't appreciate who you are and what you have to offer but at the end of the day I do." You'd think the fact that I've disliked almost every guy she's messed with or been in a relationship with would have been a clue but nope. I sometimes find myself wishing that things had been different between us back in HS then maybe things would be different between us now but at this point what can I really do now. Then there's Ms. P. Ms. P is like me with tits and energy but she's just another opportunity missed(or is she). Just when I thought ms P was out of my life she comes to my school. Lucky ME!!!!!!!! (sarcasm). I usually wouldn't mind but she has such a flirtatious personality that's just gonna pull me back in and the girl already has a boyfriend. uuuugghhhh, Why me, why me!!!!!! I can't avoid her cause we're in the same circle of friends, So what do I do, what do I do? So those are the top 3 Ms.' right now. There are a few more, not a lot more but those are the top 3 and the ones who matter right now. Let's see how things progress.