A Purpose....

I've been told that I put too much personal info into this blog. Well that was the reason I created this blog. To be my outlet because like I said I don't like opening up to people and I need to get out my thought and feelings somehow. I could just write in a journal but I find myself allowing people to read them anyway. I've "forgotten" my journal's in different places numerous times for people to read them. I do it because I want people to understand who I am and where I come from and what I'm facing. So what if it's too much, it's my life. It's not like I'm giving out my social security number. So.....on to my life. Basically.....I'm gonna use a new system when referring to girls so as to avoid confusion. We start with Ms. R, ah yes Ms. R. I've been attempting to court ms. R for about 3 or 4 months now. Only managed to take her out once and since then have been unsuccessful in my endeavors. I've been told by numerous people to not ask her out anymore. One person said wait for her to come to me while another says just completely move on and just talk to her as a friend. I'm sorta doing both but come on I really don't like to give up. Also this does not seem like the kind of girl who would get the clue and ask me to go out anywhere. So ms. A, my good ol' buddy ms. A. ms. A and I have had a very interesting relationship. We first started out not liking each other and then ended up becoming very good friends. Sometimes I even view her as one of my best friends. The thing is I sometimes find myself becoming attracted to her on numerous occasions. At times sexually attracted but also at times romantically attracted to her. So here's the problem, first she has like OD (I'm talking OD) history with one of my best friends, and she is completely oblivious to me as anything more than a friend (ehhh, that's my life for you). Anywayzzzz, ms. A is continuously having relationship problems and I am the constant shoulder to cry on. I keep my mouth shut and comfort her when what I really wanna be saying is "we're both looking for the same thing why can't we find it in each other. These guys don't appreciate who you are and what you have to offer but at the end of the day I do." You'd think the fact that I've disliked almost every guy she's messed with or been in a relationship with would have been a clue but nope. I sometimes find myself wishing that things had been different between us back in HS then maybe things would be different between us now but at this point what can I really do now. Then there's Ms. P. Ms. P is like me with tits and energy but she's just another opportunity missed(or is she). Just when I thought ms P was out of my life she comes to my school. Lucky ME!!!!!!!! (sarcasm). I usually wouldn't mind but she has such a flirtatious personality that's just gonna pull me back in and the girl already has a boyfriend. uuuugghhhh, Why me, why me!!!!!! I can't avoid her cause we're in the same circle of friends, So what do I do, what do I do? So those are the top 3 Ms.' right now. There are a few more, not a lot more but those are the top 3 and the ones who matter right now. Let's see how things progress.

Blank Slate

This week I've been given the chance to see how my life could be if I make the right changes necessary. I was given the opportunity to really talk to a friend of mine that I've known for some time now and had a lot in common with. Little did I know is we had a lot more in common than I could ever imagine. The only difference is he is a lot better with the ladies than I am. The thing is though he use to be in the exact same boat as me. I mean down to a T, he was me. The nice guy, the hopeless romantic, the guy who wrote the poems for the girl, the one who always gets stuck in the nearly inescapable "friend zone". Hell some of the things we had in common were downright creepy, if not scary. Well anyway, as I was saying, this dude USE to be in the same boat as me but has come to understand how to play the game better. Yes it is a game though some will disagree with me. So seeing that he understands who I am seeing that he basically lived my life, I asked him to give me some tips as to how to change things around and one of these the things he told me is to start with a blank slate and basically just look in the mirror and examine who I am and what I have to offer. Also how can I go about presenting these qualities in a desirable way. He also introduced me to a site that I feel everyone should check out no matter how tight your swag is http://extraordinaryg.wordpress.com. The site gives some very good incites. Some of which I was already aware of and have been practicing as well as some that were new to me and will try out. To see the person I can be become has inspired me. It's like finally seeing the light in the dark. I now really see what I need to do to breakout of the nice-guy complex and soon enough there'll be a new me. Just need to start out with a blank slate. Please leave your comments and checkout http://extraordinaryg.wordpress.com